Let’s start with a story
It’s my story. It might not be so different from yours.
I like to be good, no amazing, at things (who doesn’t?). I don’t like getting in trouble, or rather, feeling shame (who does?). For years, I strived for perfection.
I wanted to be the best version of myself. I traveled to more than 25 countries, developed international programs on 3 continents, presented at conferences around the world, and headed up the operations team for a Silicon Valley startup. All by the age of 28.
From the outside, it seemed like I had it all. A sought-after career. An amazing husband. A goofy cat named Raymond. Dinner at nice restaurants. Shaa-weet (bike) wheels. A collection of “friends.” Tons of travel. Yoga classes. Savings every month. A dream and plan to move to Spain.
I also had anxiety, weekly breakdowns spiritual awakenings (a quick shout out to Brené Brown), an incessant eye twitch, sleepless nights, and a emptiness where there was once laughter and fulfillment. The hollowness echoed in my mind and my heart.
I felt more alone than ever.
I felt inadequate in every aspect of my life.
I felt like something was wrong with me.
I wasn’t enough. I had to be better.
Better meant rushing from work to yoga to home to find balance. Hello, Irony.
I constantly asked myself, “Is this it? Is this what life is like?”
One day I decided that, no, it wasn’t. I wasn’t being the best version of myself. The authentic version of myself.
I was being the version others thought I should be.
I started to make changes.
Things like setting boundaries and letting go of what didn’t serve me. Sticking to daily mindfulness practices, even though my mind didn’t (and doesn’t) always like it. Saying “no” when I needed to.
Spending quality time with my husband, even if I felt like watching Netflix. Ditching the 10-year plan and moving to Spain without a clear plan. Building meaningful relationships with coworkers, neighbors, and friends.
Striving for imperfection and recognizing that enough really was enough. Taking responsibility for my emotions and having honest conversations with myself.
Taking risks and learning how to longboard at 31. Leaning into fear and swimming in the sea, although my imagination still sees sharks everywhere (yes, even in pools). Committing to bouldering with a fear of heights and moving up 3 levels in one year.
Starting my own company where I can serve others and be okay with mistakes. Completing a yoga teacher training program even though I’m not “flexible.” And leading a global People Team to help others find fulfillment and inspiration, so they could bring their authentic selves to work every day to realize a mission that betters humanity.
Those changes changed everything.
It taught me to live in the present.
It taught me that enough is abundance. Not perfection.
It taught me that all of my emotions give me strength.
It taught me that I’m a badass.
All of these lessons transformed my life and career.
Does this story resonate with you?
Are you ready for transformation? To find calm, curiosity, courage, and confidence? To realize your big aspirations?
My Mindfulness JOURNEY
I’ve been practicing mindfulness since 2005. It’s manifested itself in many forms: yoga, kirtan, meditation, mindful eating, gratitude journaling, deep breathing. You name it, I’ve probably tried it.
There are hundreds of ways to live more mindfully, and each one of us that that perfect combination of practices (Woohoo, experimentation time!).